Written by New York Socials

We’ve all had it happen to us: a glance, a brush…and then she’s gone – carried off the by C train. What follows is a week-long self-whipping and thrashing. With over eight million people, New York can feel like the loneliest city on the planet when you’re single and looking for love. So why do you still hesitate? Before you set yourself on a long lonely road, examine the reasons why you don’t grab opportunities that are placed in your way.

Learning why you’re not making the most out of every opportunity can help you overcome your obstacles and meet the woman of your dreams. Fortunately, as a dating coach and founder of the elite dating club New York Socials, I have experience in this area. Here are a few common reasons why you might hesitate to talk to a beautiful woman.

You’re Shy

If the idea of talking to strangers terrifies you, start by practicing doing just that: talking to strangers. The easiest way to start is at a bar. Talk to the bartender. A bartender will always answer back. That’s what they do. Learn to banter. For example, “How long have you worked here?, “What skill/education did you need to become a bartender?”, and “Who are your favorite clients?” are all great questions to start with. Once you are comfortable talking to the bartender, turn to the people next to you and rest assured if they did not want to talk, they would be drinking alone in their apartments.

You’re Afraid of Rejection

The only way to overcome a phobia is to become immune to it. So if you’re afraid of rejection, go out and get rejected a lot. Approach as many strangers in various public places and allow yourself to be rejected. Once you are immune to it, rejection will no longer be a deterrent to approaching strangers. Think of it this way: this person is not rejecting you: they don’t even know you. There may be dozens of reasons you got rejected: bad mood, bad hair day, bad day at work; the list goes on and on. Perhaps your approach technique did not work and you got rejected. So treat every rejection as a lesson to refine it. You know there is more to you than just your approach technique.

You Set Yourself Up for Failure

Just like a good salesman is the one who believes in his product, you need to believe in yourself and your ability to attract the opposite sex. If you are staring at a beautiful woman across the subway car thinking of different reasons why she will reject you, she will reject you – because your product is not convincing enough. Instead, tell yourself that you will be thrilled to embark on an adventure with this stranger to see where it takes both of you. Remember: confidence is attractive and enthusiasm is contagious.

We all have these fleeting moments that we think about for years to come and wonder “what if?” So this summer, how about breaking the pattern? Remember – fear is temporary; regret lasts forever. If you need more tips, consider joining our elite matchmaking services at NY Socials.
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New York Socials is a high end dating service and dating club that offers dating coaching and image consulting. Visit the website to learn more about this elite dating service.